The more I seek knowledge and a relationship with God, the more I realize He has been beside me all along during my times of doubt, sin, and desolation in the desert. Always there with gentle prodding and encouragement even when I wasn't even seeking His grace.
He has brought people before me seeking salvation and led me with encouraging words for them. I asked why me of all people but I get no answer. Just more people brought before me to minister to. Do I win souls to Christ? A few maybe. Am I good at it? Probably not. Do I have compassion and love for them? Yes to a point. Is my faith un wavering? I don't think so but I think God has other ideas. Do I have any spiritual gifts? I once thought I did but that might have been only me. I really don't think so. However, I do desire them to serve others through God's grace.
So where does this leave me spiritually? A totally messy Christ follower is the best I can describe the situation. I am confused, I don't seem to fit in with a conventional church, I enjoy the musical worship services more that I do the sermons ( I find my inspiration more from the bible than from a sermon), and I really think way out side of the box. I find I feel better helping those out side of the church seeking God's grace instead of in a church. Aren't those the ones we should really be helping in the first place?
I wonder if there is such a church for messy people and what would it be like. Here is an idea.
As you walk in, there are greeters that are sincere in their greetings that are filled with love for others. You take a seat and wait for the services to begin. Others in the congregation walk by going to their seats and greet you as if you are a long time friend ( not ignore you). As the service begins, the pastor or associate walks onto the stage and gives a brief report of the current activity in the church. He/she then ask for prayer that the Holy Spirit fills the service with His presence and leads others to Christ. The band begins to play worship music that gets all up and singing praises to God. The Revelation Song and All That I Am gets me jumping every time. The pastor steps back onto the stage for a few words of encouragement inviting all to come forward that feel touched by the Holy Spirit. The band begins to play more worship songs. Some come forward to pray at the stage or altar. Others are touched by the Holy Spirit and feel joyous during the singing. Some weep, some shout out in praise. As the band continues to play, the prayer groups come forward to pray over the ones at the front of the stage or altar.
The pastor makes a brief statement praising God telling all that the Holy Spirit is among the congregation and all that feels his presence rejoice in the Lord and gives a short sermon inviting others to come forward that seek salvation or prayer. The band continues to play softly as others come forward for prayer, seeking salvation, or healing. The pastor speaks out to others quoting scripture and invitations continue.
There are no time schedules to follow. God and the Holy Spirit are not regulated to a box or time frame. In this service God controls when it is over and only then. After the service, many regulars travel through the crowd greeting those seeking more about God and directing them to the places set up in the church that may be able to help them in their search as well as giving fellowship.
Perhaps I expect too much from a church. What do you think?